I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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