weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize