so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
this just has baby written all over it
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
