Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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