GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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