I think scott just propositioned me for sex
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
