Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
