in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
