How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
