I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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