I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
