we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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