that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
