I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize