What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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