She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She even gives head with a lisp.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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