Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
