a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
