I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
last night I used snow as a chaser
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
