I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
wakey wakey hands off snakey
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
