Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?

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(817): View more from Texas

Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.

(765): View more from Indiana

yay hump day

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(44): View more from United Kingdom

All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet

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(815): View more from Illinois

Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed

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(352): View more from Florida

We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?

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