How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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