She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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