meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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