But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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