I seem to have left my pride at pride
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me