You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt