Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION