you traded sex for a burrito?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Randomize
