I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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