just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
