i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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