He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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