that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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