well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
