So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
