I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
