Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person