i only shaved half my leg
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.