Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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