he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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