Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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