a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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