I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize