Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
