Is it normal to miss your booty call?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
