He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
