Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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