put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
