Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize