Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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