I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Alive.
So much puke
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You were trust falling into bushes
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
