Don't you send me to vm
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
