I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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