Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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