Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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