The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
