some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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